Fire In Snow
by NT aka Aku-chan
Summary: Summary inside Kai? YAOI


Title: Fire in Snow  
  
Author: NT aka Aku-chan  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Beyblade, I could, but I don't...  
  
Pairing(s): Se-cr-et Kai/?? (It may be obvious if you know what I write...)  
  
Warning(s): YAOI of course, Suicidal thoughts... sure... and whatever else happens to pop up in my fics  
  
Summary: The Bladebreakers always wanted to change Kai. That was an obvious. Each attempt to start a conversation or spring some emotion into their captain's face only resulted in failure. Angered by the lack of progress, Rei decides to give a wake-up call to Kai, his anger being the only motivation. But Rei went too far. And Kai can't remember wanting to die so badly. But he'll find a savior in the snow.  
  
%%%  
  
"Why won't you open up to us, Kai? What are you so afraid of?" Rei demanded, voice on the brink of insanity, as his tired, glowing eyes were mere slits. The phoenix couldn't meet with those eyes. He was right, of course he was, but didn't he know how hard he had tried to be like them, be able to smile and laugh, be able to talk to them...?  
  
"If you can't even trust us, talk to us, who the hell can you with?!" Rei needed an answer and was out for the kill to find one. It was all or nothing. "Don't you give a damn that you're hurting us?! Why can't you just see what is right in front of your face?!"  
  
'I'm... hurting them?' He turned his head away, eyes closed in shame. 'I always have been... that's all I've ever been capable of... to hurt...'  
  
"Answer me, Kai!!" Rei screamed out, his fists shaking with suppressed anger, as it filled into his blood to a point of overfill. The others only watched, fear locking them down, as they watched the two most respected of the team.  
  
"I know..." Kai whispered, his voice sounding strained and fragile, but Rei couldn't hear it. All he heard was a confession. A fact that his leader knew that he was hurting them, causing them pain.  
  
"Bastard... you knew and you still continued?! What the hell is wrong with you?!"  
  
"Rei-!" Max cried out, trying to stop the neko-jin, but Rei glared in the blonde's direction. The blonde backed down, his eyes burning and struggling between crying and screaming.  
  
"I don't care how much shit you went through in the past. This is the present, Kai. You are our leader, our captain. You have people looking up to you!! And who do they idolize? A cold-hearted jerk who thinks he is the only thing important in this world!!!"  
  
'No... I- I don't mean to...'  
  
"Stop hurting us, Kai... you cause us nothing, but pain..." The phoenix turned to the rest of the team, each with sorrow written in their eyes, but truth to those words. It was pain that created him and his purpose was fulfilled.  
  
He stumbled away from the looks of sorrow, accusation... and pain. It was a truth he feared, where it would begin to burn in the pits of his humanity. Because this was the truth and this was the nightmare that glazed over with reality. This was the moment that played in his mind since the beginning of all this. The fame, the memories, the team. It was placed before him like a worse case scenario, as he stumbled to try to pass it, only to fail.  
  
"I..." His voice was coarse to the point where it would reveal anything and everything he was feeling. The regret, the pain, the sorrow... the self- loathing. It was there on a platter set out for him, and forced down his throat all at once. "I... I'm sorry..." He turned away, his betrayal was the final force, breaking any trust between them where this moment wasn't the cause to shatter that trust; merely a "matter of time" situation. When they finally got tired of his presence, a factor that became unneeded.  
  
His steps were heavy, but fast, as the door closed behind him and he walked out into the dark, winter night, his blade as his only real possession besides the clothes he wore, which were unfit for the wintry weather. The snow fell, slowly becoming heavier and more abundant, but he didn't care. In a way, it comforted his soul by numbing it. But the pain and rejection was still burning within him, as self-loathe wrapped its claws around his neck.  
  
He coughed, as the unfamiliar feeling of wanting to cry knocked straight into him, his knees giving way, the proud form of the phoenix falling to the snow. And he did what he held back for so many years. He cried. And coughed from the sobs that wracked through his body, of tears built up by a dam of defense, falling and sending a tidal wave trying to crash down all at once. Each tear felt colder than the last, his body numbing from the snow beneath him and the newly fallen of the storm.  
  
He smiled bitterly beneath the snow and tears, beneath the stinging wind and the stabs of pain directed at his chest, beneath the memories lost in a sea of darkness.  
  
He let his hand wrap tightly around Dranzer's glowing cage, the snow seeping beneath his scarf and clothes, gouging into the pale skin like snakes, the venom being the numb that swept through his blood. He let another tear fall from his eye and ice on his already frozen cheeks.  
  
It was pain that created him.  
  
He closed his once flaming eyes, letting the snow wash out their fire.  
  
'It will be pain that destroys me...' Kai thought, mentally laughing a hollow laugh, as his lips were too cold to move. And as he felt a wave of fatigue pass over him, he could only think of a final thought. 'I'm sorry...' As the image of his smiling teammates faded from his mind.  
  
###  
  
He blew his warm breath on his hands, trying to save them from completely freezing in the winter wind, as the snow was like a relentless assault on anything alive. He continued on his way, every now and then warming his hands. He may have lived in these sort of conditions, but he never fully adjusted to it enough to not try to warm himself up like anyone else.  
  
His feet trudged through the gathering snow, as he shivered from the snow that managed to slip within the confines of his shoes. He sighed, wondering why he hadn't gone before the storm began.  
  
It was then that a soft blue glow emitted from his pocket, as he took his blade out, the bitbeast within it glowing. "Huh? What's wrong?" He asked his friend, as it flickered slightly before responding.  
  
/There's another of my kind... it's... rather weak... can't tell who, but its pleading for help./ The bitbeast telepathically spoke to its master.  
  
"Where?"  
  
/There./  
  
Looking over, he spotted a dim red glow from beneath the snow. Drawn to it, he headed towards it, feeling the faint warmth from it. Digging in the mound with his hands, the heat penetrated through the snow, glowing more brightly at the lessen coldness.  
  
The glow spread over, encasing something... digging deeper, he gasped, as his hands moved faster to uncover the snow from what became clear to be a boy. The red warmth was weak and wrapped a thin blanket over the body, keeping his temperature high enough to stay alive.  
  
Taking off his coat and slinging it over the slim, frozen form, he gently lifted the boy into his arms and hurried through the storm to some place warm. "Hold on. You can't die on me. Please be okay, Kai..."  
  
###  
  
He felt warmth. It was soft, like how Dranzer's feather felt against his skin, as his fiery friend would protect him. But... he couldn't protect him when it came to emotional pain. That was something with no physical barrier. But no matter, he felt... safe.  
  
Which wasn't right... it was wrong... he didn't deserve this feeling...  
  
Crimson eyes opened slowly, letting the sunlight melt into them, adjusting and finally focusing. He noticed that his surrounding was foreign, but felt strangely familiar. "Have I been here?"  
  
"Forgot already, Kai?" A smiling redhead opened the door, while balancing a tray on one hand. Closing the door and setting the tray down, the wolf checked Kai's temperature.  
  
"Tala?"  
  
"The one and only." Tala smirked, then his eyes softened as he spoke. "This is where we used to live. Remember?"  
  
It was before all the events of the Abbey and beyblading. Tala and Kai were children, around the ages of 7 and 5. Tala and his family had lived in this small, cozy home, and though technically Kai didn't live there, he was over enough to might as well live there. This house was close by to Voltaire's mansion, only a ten-minute walk at most. This was where Tala and Kai had met and this was where they were first taken away to the Abbey, when Tala was 8 and Kai was 6.  
  
"I... don't really know." Kai admitted, finding the surroundings familiar, but a gap in any memories of being here. "It's familiar... but I don't remember."  
  
"Ah, oh well, no big deal." Tala reached over to where the tray was resting, and handed Kai a cup of green tea. "Here."  
  
"Thank you." Kai whispered, as he blew gently on the hot tea, then sipping the warm liquid, his tongue enjoying the taste of ginseng and honey, licking any excess drops away and finding comfort in the small burn in his chest. Tala smiled, an action he only showed to Kai for some reason. "So when did you move here?"  
  
"After the Abbey closed down. The BBA lent us some money, as in the Demo Boys, and I had some saved up cash myself, so I went and fixed this place up. Mr. Dickenson helped, along with Judy, as I wasn't 18 yet. They let me live here alone though, sending money every now and then." He noticed the wandering scarlet eyes, tracing across the floors and walls, then to the two blades on the side table.  
  
"Do you...?" Kai let the rest of his question melt into the silence, as he was sure the other would pick up on it.  
  
"Every now and then. I don't in any tournaments. Brings too many bad memories."  
  
"..." Kai nodded in understanding, wondering why he still continued to Beyblade. 'Because I have memories of my team... my old team at least. They don't need me anymore.'  
  
"What about you?"  
  
"Huh?" Tala smirked, as he finally caught Kai off guard for once.  
  
"Beyblading?"  
  
"I still do... I guess."  
  
"And does that come along with stupidity?"  
  
"What?"  
  
Tala sighed, and leaned against the wall the bed was by, closing his eyes before slowing opening them again. "I found you. Outside in the snow."  
  
"..." The phoenix looked away ashamed and embarrassed for being caught weak. It was his strength that he always prided on. Taking on the elements. Finding answers out of the impossible. And yet because he had let himself be controlled by foolish emotions like sorrow, he's failed to keep up the strength that made him.  
  
'No, it's pain that made me.' Kai reminded himself, falling deeper into a pit of nothingness, a void if you will, in the center of his being.  
  
"Kai..." Tala's hand reached out to his best friend, cradling the phoenix's cheek. "What happened?"  
  
Blood-kissed eyes looked away, trying to fall in on himself, yet stay as strong as he's always been. "Kai..."  
  
But for some reason, with Tala, Kai couldn't hide. He threw his arms around Tala, holding onto the wolf, revealing all his pain and sorrow through the torrent of tears that didn't seem to want to stop. The redhead cradled the fragile boy in his arms, rocking him gently and whispering anything that would bring comfort and reassurance for the phoenix.  
  
It was the same. This scenario. Back then in the Abbey when they had just entered. It was after Kai's first punishment.  
  
#Flashback#  
  
"Kai? Kai, where are you?" The small child opened the door, peering into the darkness for his best friend. "Kai?"  
  
He walked down inside, closing the door softly behind him. Walking to the bedroom they shared, he opened the door and peeked his head inside. He felt his heart crash down, as the scene before him made him want to cry.  
  
Kai was cradled in on himself, shaking from the sobs that wracked through his small broken frame, as he bled on the once white sheets, his hand in a futile attempt to stop the bleeding on his arm. As Tala walked closer, he noticed Kai was shirtless, giving him an easy and heart shattering view of the burn marks from a whip hitting down countless times on the crying angel's back.  
  
The wolf quickly made it beside Kai after the previous shock and gently cradled the smaller boy into his arms, taking off his own shirt and tearing it for bandaging. After stopping most of the bleeding, he comforted the broken child as best he could, whispering reassuring words.  
  
The crying soon ceased, as two small scarlet eyes appeared beneath the bloodstained locks of silver blue hair, entrancing the silver eyes of the wolf. "Tala... make the pain stop..."  
  
"Shhh, I will. I... I'm sorry I wasn't there sooner." Tala kissed the phoenix on the forehead, and felt Kai's small hands wrap around his waist, his head buried in his chest in a desperate gesture.  
  
"You won't lose me, Kai. Never..." The wolf whispered, knowing the meaning of the gesture.  
  
"Never leave me..." Kai managed to say, as he slowly closed his eyes, but still kept looking at the taller boy.  
  
"I will always be with you." Tala smiled, leaving small kisses over Kai's forehead and cheeks in a soothing motion.  
  
"Promise?" The tired voice asked, slowly drifting off into slumber.  
  
"Promise... always."  
  
"Thank you... Tala..." Kai mumbled out, as his eyes closed and sleep claimed the small angel.  
  
"I love you, Kai." Tala smiled, giving Kai a final kiss that night, though this time on the lips. "I'll protect you, Kai. I promise..."  
  
#Flashback End#  
  
The tears continued to pour from a pain worse than anything physical and Tala knew that seeing no marks from any physical abuse. "Kai-" The wolf started, but was interrupted.  
  
"Why Tala?" Kai managed to talk as he cried. "Why do I keep hurting? I... I don't want to hurt anymore!" And he broke down crying again, clinging to the other's shirt.  
  
"Is this... about your team?"  
  
Kai nodded gently and whispered a soft 'yes', as he buried his face further into the strong chest of his best friend. "He... he said I do nothing but cause pain..."  
  
And then, Kai began to laugh, but it was bitter and painful, derived from a crying child deep within his conscious. "I-It's true! All I have ever done was cause pain! Are you happy, Boris?!? Are you damn proud of your work, Grandfather?!?" Kai shouted, the laughter contorting to sobs, as he let the hysterics pass him.  
  
"It's not fair... I tried, Tala. I really did, but... I can't! Why can't I be like them!? Why can't I...?"  
  
"You're perfect."  
  
Silence reigned, as tears no longer spilled. Dull scarlet eyes looked up into moon-kissed eyes, in curiosity. "W-what do you mean? I-I'm not perfect..."  
  
Tala smiled, cradling Kai's chin in his hand, so the other couldn't look away. "You're wrong. You are perfect. To me, you are the beautiful phoenix who's calling to be let out of his cage."  
  
Kai let more tears slide down his pale cheeks, this time without the sorrow and pain, as his body fell over in exhaustion, supporting only by the wolf's frame. "Please... set me free..."  
  
"As you wish, my phoenix..." The redhead whispered, guiding Kai's lips to his own in a sweet chaste kiss. Falling asleep in the other's arms, the phoenix let his mind find the safe void deep within him where pain nor sorrow could touch him. A void where he could not be haunted by nightmares. A void where he was free, and though he did not – could not – dream, Kai found peace.  
  
"Sleep my phoenix, until the snow passes..." The wolf soon was claimed by sleep himself, embracing his koi in a possessive manner, where the shadows could not touch the firebird.  
  
It wouldn't be enough, but for now, it kept him alive. He knew that and deep down, he knew he wouldn't be there to stop him. Because he couldn't free him, but he could at least join him in the cage.  
  
Sometimes, you can't free the phoenix from the cage.  
  
"I'm sorry... for the pain..." The phoenix mumbled, caught in a nightmare of reality.  
  
%%%  
  
End... sure  
  
Aku: This sucked... I did not like this one at all... umm... yeah... Review please?  
  
Kai: Why do you always make me weak?  
  
Aku: Because... umm... [walks away]  
  
Kai: -.-;;  
  
Tala: Review and Aku will write better TalaKai one-shots!!! 


End file.
